The Hardest Thing
by tje-82871
Summary: A Lucy/Kevin story based on the previews for the episode "Peer Pressure" to be aired Nov. 11. Read only if you want to know or already know who the girl in the previews was. What will happen with Lucy and Kevin?


SPOILER NOTICE: This is a fictional story based on the previews for "Peer Pressure" (airs November 11). If you don't want to know who the girl in the preview was, then don't read the story until after the show airs.  
  
DISCLAIMER: This is purely a fictional story based on the last two short clips in the preview for the episode "Peer Pressure" written by Barry Watson. If there is anything at all similar to the actual episode it is strictly coincidental (guess that just means that Barry and I have the same writing taste), because I haven't seen the episode. The characters are owned by 7th Heaven, WB, Spelling Television, etc, etc, etc. I don't own them.  
  
This story is what my imagination would like to see happen. :o)  
  
THE HARDEST THING  
  
Lucy smiled as she strolled up the walkway toward the house. Kevin Kinkirk, her love and soul mate, was leaning up against the porch archway waiting for her to come home from her evening class at school. He was still wearing his police uniform, and his arms were crossed nonchalantly. She loved it when he waited for her to come home. She sighed as she approached him.  
  
"Hi, Honey!" she gave Kevin one of her sweetest smiles. Oddly enough, Kevin didn't smile back. He didn't even lean down to give her the usual hello kiss. Lucy's smile faded.  
  
Kevin turned toward her and motioned for her to sit down, "There's something I need to tell you," he said in a strained voice. The two of them sat down side-by-side on the porch steps.  
  
Lucy began to get worried as she sat down next to Kevin. "What's wrong?"  
  
Kevin's voice cracked as he began. "I love you, Lucy. You know I love you."  
  
"I love you, too, Kev," her smile returning for one brief moment. Lucy's admission of love seemed to make it more difficult for Kevin to get the words out.  
  
"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do," he said more to himself then to Lucy.  
  
"Kevin, you're scaring me."  
  
"I only hope you'll understand."  
  
"Understand what?"  
  
"Why I didn't tell you about this sooner."  
  
"What? Tell me about what?" Lucy said quietly.  
  
"You remember when you asked me about my past relationships?"  
  
"Yes," Lucy said hesitantly.  
  
"There was a reason I didn't want to talk about it," he paused as he looked up toward the clear evening sky as if for answers on what to say next. "I was married," he blurted out.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lucy didn't think she'd quite heard him right.  
  
"It was years ago. We were young. It was a mistake."  
  
Lucy couldn't believe her ears. Married? Her Kevin was married? That couldn't be happening. She had fallen in love with a man who had a wife - well, ex-wife. Same difference. Tears threatened to fall.  
  
Kevin had stayed quiet letting his words sink in. Hoping beyond all hope that Lucy would understand and realize that this had all been in the past. That this wasn't the present or future. That she, Lucy Camden, was his present and future.  
  
"Did you love her?" Lucy asked, her voice beginning to quiver. It wasn't a question she wanted to ask; it just kind of came out. Kevin didn't answer. Lucy looked at him; he was still studying the sky. "Was she pretty?"  
  
"Luce, don't do this?" Kevin turned toward her. He didn't want to torture her any more than he already had.  
  
Lucy couldn't take it anymore. She was going to cry, but not in front of Kevin. Her stubbornness wouldn't allow it. She stood up and went inside leaving Kevin sitting out on the porch alone suffering his own pain and despair.  
  
-----  
  
The dam had burst by the time Lucy had flung herself onto her bed. Ruthie had been in the room working on her homework when her sister ran in crying.  
  
Ruthie walked over to Lucy; Lucy's face buried in her pillow. "Lucy?" Ruthie said her sister's name sympathetically. For once in her life, she, Ruthie Camden, didn't know what was going on. "Lucy, what's wrong?" Lucy didn't answer, but only continued to cry.  
  
Ruthie got worried and walked out into the hallway to her parent's bedroom. Eric and Annie were sitting up in bed, each reading a book. "Mom! Dad! Something's wrong with Lucy," she said from the doorway. "She's came into our room crying, and she won't stop. She won't talk to me."  
  
Eric and Annie looked at each other with worried expressions on their faces. "I'll see what's wrong." Annie started to get out of bed.  
  
"No! Wait. Let me go," Eric offered. He and Lucy had a wonderful father/daughter bond. They understood each other. Maybe he'd be able to help her; maybe he really could feel needed again.  
  
Eric walked into the girl's room and gently sat down on the edge of Lucy's bed. Lucy still had her head buried in her pillow. Eric placed his hand on her shoulder. This gesture caused Lucy to look up at her father. The sympathy in his eyes made her throw herself in his arms. Eric held her tightly and let her cry.  
  
A few minutes passed when Lucy's sobs subsided. "You ready to talk?" Eric quietly asked her.  
  
Lucy nodded and looked up into her father's eyes. Her face was wet and blotchy, and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. "It's Kevin." Eric only nodded. He couldn't imagine what Kevin could have done to cause this outburst. "He just told me that he was married."  
  
"Married?" Eric looked stunned. That was the last thing he could have imagined. "He's divorced then?" Eric asked hoping this wasn't a recent event that occurred.  
  
"Yeah," Lucy sniffed and rubbed her eyes.  
  
"How long ago was this?" Eric wondered.  
  
"I don't know. I didn't ask," Lucy got a little irritated.  
  
"Maybe you should have," Eric politely told her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I'm assuming this wasn't recently, that it was a while ago, before he met you."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"If it's in his past Lucy, then it's in his past. You can't fault him for something he did before he met you." Lucy remained silent, yet listened to what her father was telling her. "I've seen it before, Luce. A young man makes a mistake, thinks he's in love, gets married, then finds out it was all wrong. He puts it in his past and learns from that mistake, then finds the right woman. Unfortunately when he finds her, his past may come back to haunt him. It all depends on whether she accepts it or not. If she accepts what he did and leaves it in the past, he'll be able to move on. But if she doesn't. . ."  
  
". . . His past may haunt him the rest of his life," Lucy finished quietly.  
  
"And ruin what could have been a wonderful relationship."  
  
"What do I do?" she pleaded.  
  
"Lucy, you had decided you wanted to marry Kevin before he told you this, didn't you?" Eric reasoned.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Should this make a difference? Should this change anything? Should something that happened before he met you change what you have now?" Eric paused a moment before asking a question that had been on his mind. "How did you react when he told you?"  
  
"I. . . I got up and came in the house."  
  
"Without talking to him?"  
  
"Yeah," she hesitated. Eric nodded again. "But why didn't he tell me sooner?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Probably because he knew how you'd react. My guess is you reacted the way he thought you would. He was probably scared to tell you. Kevin loves you, and he didn't want to lose you." Lucy continued to let the words sink in as Eric added, "Imagine what Kevin's going through right now. That had to have been the hardest thing he's ever done. He knew he could lose you by telling you that, but he wanted to be honest with you, and he finally sucked in his gut and decided to be a man about it - knowing that he could lose you forever. He's left yours and his future in your hands, Lucy. It's fragile. Be careful. Hold on to it. Don't drop it." He kissed his daughter on the cheek and walked out the door leaving Lucy alone with her thoughts.  
  
-----  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, Kevin had managed to pick himself up off the porch steps and slowly make his way back to his apartment over the Camden garage. He had hoped that Lucy would walk back out the front door and tell him that she was only kidding, that she'd understood, and that she was ok with it. He had hoped that she's run into his arms and kiss him and tell him that she still wanted to be with him. That, however, was unrealistic. He knew better then that. That was only in his dreams.  
  
He had managed to hold back the tears until he'd reached his apartment door, but it was no use. A tear slowly ran down his cheek. He opened the door, walked up the stairs, and sat down on his bed; a few more tears now beginning to fall.  
  
His head automatically turned toward the stand beside his bed. He instinctively reached for the picture frame next to his clock. It was a picture of he and Lucy during the Labor Day church picnic. They had been out at the park. He and Ruthie were swinging Sam and David on the swings, when he felt something hit him in the back. He had turned around, and Lucy was standing there with a water balloon in her left hand. Evidence on his back proved that she had previously had one in her right hand as well. She was laughing at him. He had chased her down to the lake where Eric, Robbie, and Simon were fishing. Eric was playing around with the new camera he had bought. Lucy had slowed down her pace enough for him to catch up. He had picked her up and, after threatening to throw her into the lake, finally did. Kevin smiled through his tears as he remembered that moment. She was soaked from head to toe. Simon and Robbie were yelling at them for scaring the fish away. It wasn't over though. He had decided to be a gentleman, and help Lucy out of the water. Big mistake. She pulled him in with her. When they both surfaced, Eric snapped a picture of them. The very picture Kevin had taken for himself and framed. It brought back fond memories.  
  
A knock on the door shook Kevin from his reverie. He didn't care to talk to anyone. He figured by now everyone in the Camden household knew what happened. Was it Eric and Annie coming to kick him out? Was it Robbie or Ruthie? Simon? Simon had known that there had been another woman in his life; he had seen her earlier that day, but he hadn't known who she really was. He dreaded every step he took down the stairs to the door. He wiped the leftover tears away before opening the door.  
  
Lucy looked up at Kevin. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but her face had dried. Her hair was wet as if she had just taken a shower, and she had gotten comfortable in a long sleeved light blue bathrobe that was covering her dark blue sweat outfit.  
  
"We need to talk," she told him.  
  
Kevin nodded and stepped aside letting her ascend the stairs first. He followed her. She sat down in his recliner, and he pulled over a chair and sat down across from her. He tried to read her thoughts, but for once, he couldn't. Her face seemed expressionless.  
  
"A wise man once said that the future is fragile, and one must be careful with it," Lucy began.  
  
"Who said that?" Kevin asked.  
  
"My father." Lucy continued. "He also said that someone should never be faulted for something that happened in the past." She looked right at Kevin. "How long ago was this?" she asked.  
  
"Four years."  
  
Lucy nodded slowly in acknowledgement. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. I shouldn't have just walked away like that. I should have let you explain things," Lucy started to choke on her words.  
  
"No, Luce. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made the mistake. If I could go back and change things, I would. You know I would. To spare you what I've just put you through. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I should have told you right away."  
  
"Why didn't you?" she asked softly. There was no anger in her voice. Only curiosity.  
  
"I was scared." Kevin paused a moment to collect his thoughts. "After my divorce, I vowed that I was through with dating and women. I didn't want to go through that all over again. I didn't date, either. Not until the day I met you in the airport security office." Kevin chuckled, "Remember, you called me a pea-brained moron with a badge?"  
  
Lucy smiled, "Yeah!"  
  
Kevin continued. "There was something about you. I think it was that spunky personality I saw in you. You weren't afraid to say what was on your mind. I liked that. I was attracted to that. You were crazy, Luce," he grinned. "You proved that by calling yourself a terrorist.  
  
"I did not!" she defended herself. "I was just having a really bad day."  
  
"And it didn't help that I stole your hairdryer and makeup," he joked. He put all joking aside and looked deeply into her eyes. "At that moment, I fell in love. Something I never thought would happen. Something I didn't want to happen, but it did."  
  
Lucy's heart melted. She thought she had cried all the tears she could until a tear again fell down her cheek. Kevin reached up and brushed it away. "I love you, Lucy Camden. With all my heart. Forever," he said so softly that if there had been anyone else around, she'd have been the only one to hear it.  
  
She leaned forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "I love you too, Kevin. I always will." She kissed him. "Promise me something."  
  
"Anything!"  
  
"You won't tell me anything about her. Not even her name. I don't want to know anything. I don't need to know anything."  
  
"About who?" Kevin feigned ignorance. He then gave her one of his most irresistible smiles. "There's never been anyone that I've ever loved more than I love you, Lucy. No one."  
  
THE END 


End file.
